It’s 6:14 on a Tuesday morning. The sleeplessness is fairly standard these days. I usually wake for a quick empty at 4 or 5 and it is a bit hit or miss whether I get back to sleep. There are many contributing factors as to which side the pendulum swings and this time it was a miss. It is normally particularly hard on a Sunday night. Off the back of an enjoyable weekend it is difficult to admit it’s ending and let the working week creep in once again. Even more so after a 4 day weekend. The frustration builds and it gets to the point where my body refuses even to lie down.

I had it sorted though. After some difficult bouts of insomnia I had purchased a book which claimed to sort it for good. The Effortless Sleep Method by Sasha Stephens was my life saver. It works by changing a few bad habits to try and encourage natural sleep. I have never tried prescription medication but have had a go on many natural remedies. None of which work. All of which make you reliant. With Sasha’s method I managed to sort my routine and began to sleep properly again. It was a delight. A miracle. And then they took my colon out.

Since the removal in December my sleep pattern has been poor. First off was the post surgery issues, pain and discomfort. These things combined with a noisy and uncomfortable hospital and the constant desire to pee meant that for the first few weeks I was getting barely 4 hours a night at a time when my body needed 24. Next up came the recovery at home. Inability to lie flat left me tired and awake with about 6 pillows propping various parts of my body up. Needless to say these weren’t the most sleep filled nights all whilst trying to heal a large gash in my stomach. Then after recovery there is the way too familiar routine of waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning to empty a puffed up bag of crap. Which is where you find me now. Lifting weights and doing squats to rid myself of the boredom and angst.

After such a great long weekend it is a shame to leave it on such a negative note. Amongst seeing the family and receiving a ton of easter eggs I managed to squeeze in a (very small) hill walk and a 17 mile bike ride. Both of which have filled me with confidence that next week in the brecan beacons I may actually be able to do it. Despite my low physical strength and fitness I am hoping my long battered mental strength will take over and get me up and down the hills. At least it should help me sleep. Right?


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